Feelings Fitness Podcast

What If Joy, Gratitude, And Peace Are Moments, Not Goals

• Suzanne Bazarko

Share episode
SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Feelings Fitness Podcast Emotions for Moms. I'm Suzanne, and this is a space created for the emotional side of motherhood that so often goes unseen, unheard, or rushed past. Here we talk about the real feelings, the heavy ones, the tender ones, the complicated ones, without fixing them, minimizing them, or tying them up with a bow. This podcast is about building emotional strength, not pushing through, but slowing down, naming what's true, and remembering that you are a whole human, not just a role. Take a deep breath, you're in the right place. When we talk about joy, gratitude, and peace, there's often an unspoken pressure attached. Pressure to feel them more often, hold on to them longer, prove that they're present. And for a lot of moms, those words can feel complicated. Because when life feels heavy, joy feels elusive. When you're exhausted, gratitude feels forced. When your nervous system is stretched thin, peace can feel unrealistic. So today we're not talking about these feelings as goals to achieve, we're talking about them as experiences that visit quietly, briefly, imperfectly, inside real life. So joy is often misunderstood. We're taught to think of joy as a state of being, something big, sustained, obvious. But in motherhood, joy is rarely loud or permanent. Joy is often small. It's a moment when your shoulders soften, a laugh that catches you off guard, a pause where nothing needs to be fixed. I remember a night when the day had been long, nothing resolved, nothing especially good or bad. I was sitting alone after everyone was asleep, holding a warm mug, and I realized my body felt okay. Not happy, not energized, just okay. That was joy. Joy doesn't erase hard days, it doesn't cancel stress or responsibility. It simply exists alongside them. And here's the important part joy can't be summoned on command. The more we chase it, the more it slips away. In the Book of Feelings, joy isn't treated as a reward for good behavior or positive thinking. It's treated as something that naturally arises when the nervous system feels even briefly safe. Joy isn't something you do, it's something you notice. And then there's gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most misunderstood emotions in motherhood. It's often used as a tool to quiet discomfort. At least you have healthy kids. Other people have it worse. You should be grateful. But gratitude doesn't thrive under pressure. Forced gratitude isn't gratitude at all, it's self-silencing. Real gratitude doesn't ask you to deny what's hard, it allows both to exist at the same time. You can be grateful for your children and exhausted by the responsibility of caring for them. You can appreciate your life and wish parts of it were easier. Those truths don't cancel each other out. In the Book of Feelings, gratitude is framed gently, not as a mindset to adopt, but as a feeling that often shows up after we feel understood, supported, or rested. Gratitude grows when your feelings are allowed, your needs are acknowledged, and your nervous system can exhale. It doesn't grow when you're told to look on the bright side. And then peace. Peace might be the most unrealistic expectation placed on moms. We imagine peace as calm, quiet, and lasting, as something you arrive at once everything is under control. But peace doesn't work that way. Peace isn't a permanent state, it's a momentary experience. Peace can be a deep breath that lands, a stretch at the end of the day, a quiet drive, a few minutes of silence. Peace doesn't mean life is settled. It means your body feels settled, even briefly. For many moms, peace feels unfamiliar because they're rarely not needed, rarely not anticipating, and rarely not managing something. In the Book of Feelings, peace isn't framed as something to strive for, it's framed as something to recognize when it appears, even if it's fleeting. Peace doesn't require perfection, it requires permission. So why are these feelings so hard to hold? Well, here's what often gets missed joy, gratitude, and peace don't flourish in environments where moms are constantly stretched, overstimulated, or emotionally unseen. If these feelings feel distant, it's not because you're doing something wrong. It may simply mean you're tired, you're overloaded, your nervous system needs support. These feelings aren't personal achievements, they're responses to safety. A gentle shift to consider, instead of asking, why don't I feel more joy, you might ask, when do I feel even a little lighter? Instead of asking why can't I stay grateful? You might ask, what helps my body soften? Instead of asking, why don't I feel peaceful? You might ask, when does my nervous system get a break? These questions invite awareness, not pressure. I'm going to invite you to take a little breath break. Take a slow inhale through the nose and a slow exhale through the mouth and silently name one thing that feels okay right now. Not amazing, just okay. That's enough. Joy doesn't need to be loud, gratitude doesn't need to be forced, peace doesn't need to last. These feelings are allowed to visit briefly and leave again. If they've felt distant lately, that doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human, living in a full, demanding life. Next week we'll talk about what the book of feelings is meant to be for you. Not as a guide to fixing yourself, but as a companion you can return to when you need it. Thank you for spending this time with me here on the Feelings Fitness Podcast. If today's episode resonated, let it land gently. You don't need to do anything with it right now. Awareness is enough. If you're craving deeper connection and community, I'd love to invite you to join me inside the Stay at Home Mom Studio, our Facebook space where these conversations continue in real time with real moms living real lives. Remember, you don't have to earn rest. You don't have to explain your feelings, and you don't have to navigate motherhood alone. I'll meet you back here next week. Until then, take good care.