270. Understanding Anxiety, Fear, And Control In Motherhood

Chapters

• 0:00 Naming The Unseen Emotions
• 0:36 Anxiety As Care, Not Failure
• 2:40 Fear As Love’s Shadow
• 3:36 Control As A Bid For Safety
• 4:41 A Gentle Breath Break Practice
• 6:11 Reframing And Looking Ahead
• 6:33 Community Invitation And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to the Feelings Fitness Podcast Emotions for Moms. I'm Suzanne, and this is a space created for the emotional side of motherhood that so often goes unseen, unheard, or rushed past. Here we talk about the real feelings, the heavy ones, the tender ones, the complicated ones, without fixing them, minimizing them, or tying them up with a bow. This podcast is about building emotional strength, not pushing through, but slowing down, naming what's true, and remembering that you are a whole human, not just a role. Take a deep breath. You're in the right place. Anxiety doesn't show up because you're failing. It shows up because you care. That might sound simple, but for so many moms, anxiety feels like evidence that something is wrong with them. Like they're too much, too worried, too tense, too unable to relax. But when you look a little closer, anxiety and motherhood often looks a lot like responsibility. It looks like thinking three steps ahead, noticing what everyone else needs, keeping track of what could go wrong, trying to make sure nothing falls apart. That's not weakness, that's vigilance. Today we're talking about three feelings that often travel together: anxiety, fear, and control. Not as problems to eliminate, but as protective strategies your nervous system learned because something in your life matters deeply. Anxiety and motherhood often feels logical because it is. Your brain is constantly scanning for danger, responsibility, risk, what's coming next. That's not a flaw. That's a job description. Your nervous system quietly takes on when it feels like a lot depends on you. I remember seasons when my mind never felt quiet, even during moments that were supposed to be relaxing. There was always a background list running. Did I forget something? What's next? What could go wrong? And the truth is, anxiety didn't show up because I was failing at life. It showed up because I was holding a lot of invisible responsibility. So many moms are told to just relax or stop worrying so much, but your body can't relax if it believes it's the thing holding everything together. In the Book of Feelings, anxiety isn't treated like an enemy. It's treated like a messenger. It asks, what feels like it all depends on me right now? Sometimes anxiety isn't asking you to calm down, it's asking you to feel supported. Then there's fear. Fear is love's shadow. We don't talk about that enough. The deeper you love, the more vulnerable you become. The more you care, the more there is to lose. That's not pessimism, that's attachment. Before motherhood, you might have worried about things, but after motherhood, fear changes shape. It becomes more constant, more specific, more personal. Fear sounds like what if something happens? What if I miss something important? What if I mess this up? And here's the important part. Fear doesn't mean something bad is going to happen. It means something matters deeply. Your nervous system is simply trying to protect what you love. The problem isn't fear itself. The problem is when you start believing, fear is a prediction instead of a signal. Fear says, this is precious to me, not this is doomed. Oh, and then we have now arrived at control. Control is often survival. It's what happens when uncertainty feels unbearable and your system looks for something, anything it can manage. Control can look like overplanning, micromanaging, struggling to rest, feeling tense when things aren't done your way, having a hard time letting go. But control isn't about being difficult or rigid. It's about trying to create safety in a world that feels unpredictable. For many moms, control develops in seasons where things feel chaotic, overwhelming, or unsupported. It's the nervous system saying, if I can just keep this organized, maybe everything will be okay. The Book of Feelings treats control gently, not as something to shame, but as something to understand. Because you don't loosen your grip by being told to let go. You loosen your grip when your body feels safe enough to trust. So these three feelings work together, right? Anxiety scans for threats, fear highlights what matters, control tries to manage the uncertainty. Together, they form a protective system, not a broken one, a tired one. A system that's been working very hard for a very long time. So here's the thing: if you've been feeling tense, wired, on edge, unable to fully relax, I want you to consider this. Your nervous system isn't malfunctioning, it's protecting something precious. And instead of asking what's wrong with me, you might gently ask, what am I carrying that feels this important? Consider taking a little bit of a breath break anytime these emotions feel like too much, feel overwhelming, feel overbearing, feel like you really just can't relax. Breath break for the win. Taking a slow inhale in through the nose and a long exhale out through the mouth. And quietly say, Thank you for trying to protect me. Not to get rid of the anxiety, just to acknowledge it. Your nervous system isn't broken. It's been doing its best to keep you and what you love safe. Anxiety doesn't mean you're failing. Fear doesn't mean disaster is coming. Control doesn't mean you're rigid. It means you care deeply. Next week we'll talk about the more expansive feelings: joy, gratitude, and peace, and how they exist in real life, not a perfect life. Thank you for spending this time with me here on the Feelings Fitness Podcast. If today's episode resonated, let it land gently. You don't need to do anything with it right now. Awareness is enough. If you're craving deeper connection and community, I'd love to invite you to join me inside the Stay at Home Mom Studio, our Facebook space where these conversations continue in real time with real moms living real lives. Remember, you don't have to earn rest, you don't have to explain your feelings, and you don't have to navigate motherhood alone. I'll meet you back here next week. Until then, take good care.