Finding Connection Through Loss: Navigating the Existential Crisis of Grief Artwork

Feelings Fitness Podcast

Raising a family can be emotionally overwhelming. Managing the logistics of a household can be such a grind. Life in general can be extremely exhausting. Can you relate? Many families feel overwhelmed by the fast pace of family life. Enter yoga and mindfulness. Let The Feelings Fitness Podcast be your guide to understanding what yoga and mindfulness is and how it can help your family. Allow Feelings Fitness to show you how simple yoga sequences, yogic philosophy, and mindfulness practices can help on the home front. By using The Feelings Fitness hacks you can create a peace living space and a calm mindset for your family. Each week we will dive into how to make your home life more functional. You will learn how to use these yoga and mindfulness practices to guide you through the seasons of life. After listening to each episode, you will walk away with yoga and mindfulness tools and lots of inspiration. You will be all set to move through the fast pace of family life with intention and ease.Your host, Suzanne Bazarko, is a registered yoga teacher, licensed professional counselor, certified mindfulness practitioner, and mom of two. She created Feelings Fitness as a vehicle to share with you what she has learned from raising her own family and how yoga and mindfulness has helped along the way.

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Feelings Fitness Podcast

Finding Connection Through Loss: Navigating the Existential Crisis of Grief

May 19, 2025 • Suzanne Bazarko

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Have you ever felt that strange paradox where grief can break your heart wide open while somehow creating space for deeper connection? That's exactly what we're exploring today.

Losing my mom three years ago wasn't just about missing her physical presence—it sparked an existential crisis that made me question everything. Who am I without her? What does life mean now? If someone so vital can disappear, what else might I be wrong about? This profound questioning is what grief often does: it strips away our illusions of permanence and control, forcing us to confront life's fragility.

But here's what I've discovered along this unwanted journey—our loved ones don't truly leave us. They appear in butterflies that land at perfect moments, in songs that play just when you need them, in dreams that feel more like visits, and in those startling moments when you catch yourself sounding exactly like them. Their essence lives on through traditions you maintain, lessons you pass down, and in that overwhelming sense of love that sometimes washes over you unexpectedly.

The guided meditation I share in this episode offers a practical way to nurture that ongoing connection. By creating a sanctuary within your heart, you can invite their presence—not as they were in illness, but vibrant and whole. This practice acknowledges that their love remains accessible, even as your relationship evolves beyond the physical realm.

Grief doesn't end—it transforms, and so do we. It has cracked me open, but also helped me rebuild my life with more truth and intention. I now cherish moments I might have overlooked before and live in ways that honor my mom's love and legacy. If you're walking this path too, know that you're not alone. Share this episode with someone who might need these words today, and remember to take care of your heart as you navigate your own journey through grief.

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Feelings Fitness Family Podcast. I'm Suzanne, your host, and today's episode is one I'm speaking straight from the heart. I want to talk about grief. Continuing on from last week, I spoke about the growing through grief series and landed on Mother's Day, and I want to say it's not just the pain of losing someone you love, but it's also this existential crisis that comes with it, and I embedded that idea in last week's episode as well. But in a strange way, this loss can be a doorway to a deeper connection with life and with the one that you lost.

Speaker 1: 0:41

So my mom passed away, my world fell apart and three years later, I'm still talking about it and I'm sure I will continue to talk about it for all the years to come. She wasn't just my mom. She was my best friend, my anchor, my home base, and losing her wasn't just about her absence. It was losing a part of myself. And suddenly the question wasn't just how do I live without her? It was who am I without her and what is the point of all of this? I now understand that what I was going through was an existential crisis. An existential crisis is when the very foundation of your life really feels shaken and you start questioning why am I here? What really matters? If someone so vital can be gone, what does that mean for me? And grief really rips away the illusions of control and permanence. You're kind of forced to face life's fragility in a way you never have before. For me, this looks like moving through life on autopilot, feeling disconnected, wondering what's real and what's just routine. But it was also an imitation One I definitely didn't want, but an imitation to rethink everything. I had to ask myself what do I want my life to stand for? How do I carry my mom's spirit forward? And here's what I learned along the way. Our loved ones don't really leave us. They show up in ways that aren't always visible but deeply felt. For some people it's through nature a butterfly that lands at just the right moment, a bird they loved, a breeze that feels like a whisper. For others it's through signs and synchronicities. A song comes on the radio. That was your song Last week. I's through signs and synchronicities. A song comes on the radio. That was your song Last week. I shared some Paul Simon songs that were definitely mine with my mom.

Speaker 1: 2:32

A stranger might say something that sounds just like your mom would have sounded. They'll visit us in dreams. They show up in your words. When you catch yourself sounding just like them. They're in traditions. You keep the lessons. You pass down the quiet moments. When you catch yourself sounding just like them, they're in traditions. You keep the lessons. You pass down the quiet moments when you feel a sudden, overwhelming sense of love.

Speaker 1: 2:51

Their spirit lives on through you, but you have to slow down to feel it. Grief cracked me wide open, but it also helps me rebuild my life with more truth, more intention, and I cherish small moments. Now I try to live in a way that honors my mom's love and her legacy, and today I want to actually guide you through a short meditation to help you feel this connection too. So, if you're in a safe place, close your eyes and let's do this together, taking a deep breath in and a full exhale out. Feel yourself fully supported by the ground beneath you. With each breath, allow your body to soften.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Now bring your awareness to your heart.

Speaker 1: 3:44

Imagine a soft, warm light glowing in your chest.

Speaker 1: 3:50

This is your inner sanctuary, where love lives on. With gentle intention, invite the presence of your loved one. See them in your mind's eye, not as they were in illness, but vibrant, joyful whole. Feel their energy around you. Maybe it's a warmth, a gentle breeze or a quiet knowing. Allow them to share a message with you. It could be words, a feeling or just their loving presence, trust whatever arises. Take a moment to thank them for their love, for their continued presence in your life, taking a deep breath in and a full exhale out and, when you're ready, gently open your eyes. Remember that their love is always accessible. Grief doesn't end. It transforms, and so do we. Losing my mom definitely opened up my eyes to just the importance of especially my role as a mom, and I want to help, especially moms, but definitely just this whole family dynamic, so that we can embrace life. Thank you so much for being here with me today. If this resonated with you, please share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Until next time, take care of your heart.