Feelings Fitness Podcast
Feelings Fitness Podcast
227. Growing Through Grief: Powerful Places
Charleston, South Carolina: a tapestry of history and the backdrop to memories of a love that transcends time. Embark with me on an emotional expedition as I revisit the cobblestone memories of my late mother, reliving the cherished traditions and family milestones that continue to echo through the streets of this storied city. From the nostalgic carriage rides to the familiar red couch at Wild Dunes Resort, every moment is a step on the path of remembrance, each with the power to evoke her enduring presence. Join me as I recount the laughter-filled shopping escapades on King Street and how, despite the passage of years and the absence of one dear, the essence of family and tradition remains unbroken, cradling us in comfort.
Cast your line into the tranquil waters of this episode, as I share the serene moments of spring fishing at the Isle of Palms, where the catch is more than fish—it's a connection to a past rich with love and life lessons. I discuss how the places we visit with those we hold dear become sacred spaces in our hearts, serving as conduits to the spirits of those who are no longer with us. Through anecdotes of dolphins dancing in the wake and photos that speak a thousand words of love, I reveal how travel and the act of creating unforgettable memories can be a salve for the soul, intertwining forever with our being, and keeping the legacy of our loved ones vibrantly alive.
Welcome back to another episode of the Feelings Fitness Podcast. I'm so happy you're here. Last week, on this Growing Through Grief series, we talked about linking objects. If you haven't listened to that one, please do. This week is all about the power of memorable places that you've gone to with your lost loved one. It's another example of a bittersweet experience, reframing it from sad to endearing.
Speaker 0:For spring break this year, my family decided to go back to Charleston, South Carolina. We haven't been there in five years. Five years ago, my mom was there with us. I always say, if I could go back to 2019, I would. My life was so much simpler. The pandemic hadn't happened, my daughter hadn't had her health issues and my mom was doing well. All seemed right in the world. In hindsight, looking back at our last visit to Charleston, there were clues that my mom wasn't doing well, but she wasn't telling anyone, not even my dad. It was the stairs. She couldn't do the stairs, but I'm so grateful for her forging forward to make those memories with us. I just wish she wouldn't have been keeping secrets from all of us. One, we could have handled anything because we love her. And two, we could have helped her more and potentially prolonged her life, but she handled it her way, the way she felt most comfortable, and I'm glad we all respected that and she did what she felt was right for her.
Speaker 0:Leading up to our Charleston trip much like leading up to my birthday, much like the lead up to the anniversary of my mom's untimely passing it's such a roller coaster of emotions. The memories of our time spent in Charleston came flooding back. The thoughts of being there without her were overwhelming, but I knew I wanted to go. Being there with the memories felt better than just being without her. Okay, so about Charleston, South Carolina? In case you ever want to visit and make your own memories, here are a few of our adventures and some little details about how it relates to the memories of my sweet mom.
Speaker 0:So we actually officially stay on the Isle of Palms, more specifically the Wild Dunes Resort. A little side note my parents used to own a condo on the island, but they have since sold it for a variety of reasons. Can I just say they bought that place for $150,000 and sold it for way more, which was certainly a win for them in the real estate market. The condo that they owned definitely held so many memories, but I'll be honest, I was totally okay with them selling it. Being a person who has moved a lot, I don't really grip too tightly to houses. Since they sold their place, we actually started renting condos instead, and we had one in particular that we rented several years in a row and the kids actually felt like it was ours. They remember this red couch and the screened in porch some super sweet pictures of the kids with my mom out on that porch to remind us of those times. After the red couch condo we stayed in several years, we needed a change, so we rented a place right on what's called the boardwalk and this location is really perfect right in the Wild Dunes Resort and you really just like step out onto a porch and then you take a few steps down and you're on the boardwalk. Take the boardwalk down and there are pools and snacks and step right out onto the beach. It's so wonderful.
Speaker 0:This year we weren't staying a full week, so we stayed in the boardwalk hotel that's at the end there. Actually, when we originally started our adventures, this wasn't even an option, but it was a nice option when you're not staying the entire week. The weather in Charleston in the summer is so hot that really all you want to do by day is be in your swimsuit submerged in the water. This year, clearly, it was a little different experience, since we went in the springtime instead of the summer, so the goal of this trip wasn't so much about the beach as it was about downtown Charleston and some of the history, and despite the cooler, cloudy, rainy weather, we were successful.
Speaker 0:One of my mom's favorite things to do was take a horse and carriage ride. So of course we did that, and even the kids they weren't so sure about. Oh my gosh, we're going to go sit on this thing for an hour and just have it take us around town and learn some history. They were actually impressed and had a really good time. Our horses we had two of them, and they were named Yogi and Boo Boo, Super fun. One of the fun facts that even the kids loved is that it actually used to be a walled city with a moat around it, so lots of water, and that's why, if you're there in some of this rainy time, you'll see a lot of freestanding water around, which isn't a wonderful feature of it, but it's the reality is there used to be a lot more water in the area.
Speaker 0:Then another favorite of my mom's was shopping on King Street. Wow, has this area grown so many more stores than there were. She used to love the Charleston Shoe Company and my daughter actually had the street all mapped out with stores she'd like to go to. The most fun ended up being this store called Roller Rabbit and there was a drop of a new print of these polo pajamas. It was actually coming out the next day. So we were in there, we learned about this new print. They said we could order it by phone and then pick it up at noon the next day. So noon the next day it was like a madhouse super fun, lots of energy.
Speaker 0:We went back and picked up the pajamas and that night we wore our matching polo sweet dreams pajamas. My mom's super shopping spirit was certainly there with us on King Street when we went back downtown. So remember, we're staying over on the Isle of Palms, which is about I don't know 20-ish minutes away from downtown. So we did our shopping on King Street and then we actually went back to the Isle of Palms and then the next day we went back over to downtown and we hit up Roll the Rabbit to pick up our new pajamas, and we also went to the South Carolina Aquarium and they actually have one of the largest tanks and I think I can't remember exactly it was something like 350,000 gallons of water in there. It's two stories. You can see it from upstairs and downstairs and it's super mesmerizing. And also, the thickness of the glass is, I think it said, about 18 inches I can't remember if it was 12 or 18 inches, something of that nature and it's in order to withstand the water pressure of the tank. Such interesting facts. And again facts that the kids really enjoyed too. And again facts that the kids really enjoyed too.
Speaker 0:Then we went back over the bridge to Sullivan's Island and had dinner at Poe's, which is an Edgar Allan Poe themed burger joint, and it's definitely a spot that we always went to with my mom. So as we sat down at the table and there were six seats for the five of us, knowing that that one empty seat was certainly my mom's spirit sitting there at Pose with us Afterwards, there's a wonderful ice cream shop just a couple of doors down and we grabbed some ice cream per usual, as we certainly would have done with my mom. So many memories here at Pose and the ice cream shop. Then, our final day in Charleston, we did some fishing per usual. My mom, not knowing how to swim, was never interested in being on a boat and certainly wasn't interested in fishing, so she always sat out of this fishing excursion when the kids only wanted a half of a half day of fishing. She would do the transportation to and from the marina. This year fishing the kids were in for the full four hours.
Speaker 0:Springtime fishing is quite different than summer fishing, but it was still great. We caught these fish called sheep's head fish. They're like black and white striped and they call them the convict because they're known for stealing the bait. Super fun. And they had these wild teeth that almost look like somebody's dentures. I mean, the teeth look human. It's really wild Anyway. And then we caught actually some black drumfish as well. Fun boat ride with some dolphin sighting. Oh my goodness, Isle of Palms, Charleston, South Carolina, never disappoints.
Speaker 0:All the while during that trip I had a picture on the wallpaper of my phone or whatever it is, the home screen of my phone, whatever we call these things these days, I don't even really know, but I had a picture of the kids with my parents from the last trip together five years ago, standing on the porch of that last condo that we all rented together. Standing on the porch of that last condo that we all rented together. I'd refer back to it when I needed to just bring her spirit even a little bit closer to me. It really actually worked. I share this with all of you today as a way to say.
Speaker 0:Places are powerful.
Speaker 0:They are memories that are so ingrained in your mind that if you are missing a lost loved one, you can take a moment, find a quiet space, close your eyes and take yourself back to that place, or you can really go back there for real, right.
Speaker 0:So going back to Charleston was a wonderful way to just have my mom's spirit and to relive some of the things that we would do together.
Speaker 0:I felt super close to her during that trip and there are times where I will also just sit quietly somewhere, close my eyes and travel back to other places that we've gone together. I mean we've done all kinds of stuff. We've gone to Rome, we've gone to Pompeii, we've gone to Paris, we've gone to Grand Cayman, we've gone to Aruba. We've done all kinds of things together and really some hilarious memories with my mom. So I highly recommend creating some of these memories, not only at home but in other places. Take trips together, make these memories together because, believe me, when you lose a loved one, you will latch on with dear life to these memories and it's helpful, so, leaning into these memories, leaning into these powerful places to embrace the grief process as opposed to resisting it. And, as always, I'd be honored if you continue to tune in over the course of the next few weeks to exercise your emotions when it comes to grief.