Feelings Fitness Podcast
Feelings Fitness Podcast
226. Growing Through Grief: Linking Objects
Have you ever clutched an object that instantly transported you back to a cherished moment with a loved one? Our latest episode in the Growing Through Grief series gently unwraps the emotional layers surrounding linking objects, those precious mementos that tether us to the memories of those who have passed. I invite you into my world of healing as I share the poignant tales behind a can of Diet Coke, a treasured prayer box charm, and the everyday items that keep my mother's spirit close. It’s a conversation about love, legacy, and the poignant power of the tangible.
Join me as we navigate the currents of loss, holding fast to the physical pieces that map our journeys with those we've loved and lost. From the joyous sparkle of sapphire rings to the comforting grip of a Kate Spade purse, these are more than possessions—they're the story-holders of our lives. As we delve into the significance of a diamond cross and the memory-laden poinsettias, I encourage you to reflect on your own linking objects. You're warmly invited to share your narratives, weaving a tapestry of remembrance that celebrates the enduring connections we forge with those who have shaped our stories.
Welcome to the Feelings Fitness podcast. Last week started a series called Growing Through Grief. In this series, I'm sharing my grief journey that began two years ago after the untimely passing of my sweet mom, my rock, my home base. Here we share our feelings, we exercise our emotions in an effort to feel fit mind, body and spirit. So let's go ahead and get started. Perhaps you remember our 52 week road trip through 2023. That was fun and it included some details from my grief journey. But for the next several weeks, I'll be putting all of those little pieces together to create a road trip solely focused on grief. Although this might sound depressing, I promise it won't be. You also might be thinking of skipping the series because perhaps it doesn't apply to you, but I promise you it will offer great value to everyone, because the reality is, if you haven't yet been impacted by grief I don't wanna be a downer, but you will at some point and although many people haven't yet been impacted by the loss of a parent, truly even the loss of a pet can send a person swirling through the grief process.
Speaker 0:Prior to losing my mom, I did lose my beloved Maine Coon cat, wellington. That was a rough one actually. That guy had been with me through a lot. He flew with me when I moved from San Francisco to Chicago. He was by my side. Through a miscarriage, he kept me company when I was a little lonely. When my kids were babies and I was a stay-at-home mom, I lost my best buddy. When I lost that guy, I thought that experience would prepare me for other losses, but nothing could have prepared me for the rocky emotional road I'd be on after losing my mom. All this brings me to today's topic, which is actually about linking objects. So a yoga friend of mine, who used to be a funeral director, introduced me to this concept, and it has been a game changer.
Speaker 0:As I was processing the loss of my mom, I began making a list of all the tangible things that remind me of her. So these items ranged from a can of Diet Coke to her beautiful jewelry box that I'd always admired sitting on her dresser. That is now sitting on my dresser, and I actually created a photo album of all of these items. I wanna share a few of them with you. Let's talk about the Diet Coke can. So in our house we don't drink Diet Coke, but whenever my mom would be coming for a visit, I'd be sure to stock up. So throughout her stay I'd find half-finished cans all over the place. I'd just kind of shake my head knowing she'd already opened a fresh one somewhere. I also always remember that she'd give up Diet Coke during Lent but would binge on them on Sundays because in her playbook that was allowed. So when I see a Diet Coke, can I think of her? I have a purse that serves as a linking object as well. We both had a matching black and white polka dot Kate Spade purse. It is super cute, classic, timeless, and now I will certainly be keeping it forever because it reminds me of her.
Speaker 0:Back in the day, when I was struggling with a bit of a Quarter life crisis I'd call it my mom gave me a prayer written by one of the popes, and it says Consult not your fears, but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations but your unfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you've tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible to do. Actually, shrunk that poem down, or that prayer down, and put it in a mini prayer box, charm that my mom gave me, and I honestly cherish it now more than ever so, instead of wearing it around my neck. I have it just kind of sitting on a little shelf, but I love that prayer. I love that little prayer box charm, definitely a linking object between my mom and me. On a little Side note, a little personal note, that prayer I actually, every time I take a shower, at the very end of my shower I turn it freezing cold and I recite that prayer before I get out. So there's that. Oh my goodness, I could honestly go on for hours with linking objects. So thank you if you are still listening. I recognize that this is getting slightly self-indulgent and I hope you are relating to some of these and I hope these are also Sparking some of your own linking objects with your loved ones.
Speaker 0:Now staying in the religious realm, my mom had a diamond cross and I continued to wear mine that she gave me. It was a gift my mom gave me and I actually wore it on my wedding day. Now she also had her own diamond cross and I passed that one along to my daughter and she wears it with great intention as a reminder that her beloved Grimm-Grim is always with her. One more from the religious realm my mom was a devout Catholic and she actually a little side note about her with regards that she actually has a plaque with her name on it up in an Adoration chapel at her church, and the church did this on their own accord. Our family actually didn't even know that they were doing it until After it was up. So she started from scratch and built out this Perpetual adoration chapel and she was just so committed and determined to make this work and I'm so proud of her accomplishments. I just I actually wish I would have told her that when she was alive. I mean, I'm sure I did to some extent, but I really wish that I would have told her a few more times, because that was quite an accomplishment and people really Remember her for that, which is great. So that's her legacy there and so that's kind of a little bit of a linking object. But that stayed. That plaque stays in that adoration chapel.
Speaker 0:But where is actually going with this one is, the linking object is a coaster, like a drink coaster, and the coaster actually has a little angel on it and it says my refuge and it's a Psalm 91, 9 through 10, and so she. This is the crazy thing. So so this the significance here is it was supposed to be an Easter gift to me, but she passed away before she got a chance to give it to me. So after her services, when everyone was back at our house sharing a mailer, my dad passed out gifts to several of us and my mom had already shopped and wrapped Easter gifts. So at that point in time it was like her love language was still working. It was her love language was definitely gifting it honestly, like doesn't really get more ironic than that. So I love this coaster. It definitely actually have it sitting right next to me right now I have a drink on it as I work on this here podcast. So linking me to her always.
Speaker 0:So then, moving on from kind of some of these religious linking objects, holiday decorations were definitely linking objects. Now there are so many of them that I still had that she had gifted me. I love them so much and they really make me think of her. But I'm gonna choose two for now, for the sake of time, and it will stick with Christmas. The first one is a Christmas Department 56, starbucks. I love this decoration so much because it really does link me to not only my mom but also her sister, who is my namesake as well. So it was not only the department 56 little Building, but also the fact that it was Starbucks, which is a fun space that we share together. Also, point set as are a linking object.
Speaker 0:When I was young, my mom was part of an organization called Junior League. At Christmas time they did a fundraiser selling point set as and there's a sweet newspaper article from back in the day with my brother and me and we're surrounded by points at us. So there is a history there, but even a deeper connection. Our last Thanksgiving together, we took a trip to Target. The one thing that she wanted was, yep, a point set. And so Addy was there and they were. My mom and Addy were get, my daughter were giggling and Addy was trying to control the wheelchair, and it was our last trip to Target with my mom. It was such a actually a happy memory and linked with a point set up. And finally, our matching David Eurman bracelets. I'll be honest, when I went home for her services, I went straight for her bracelet, not because I care so much about getting the bracelet, but I wanted to have it right next to mine on my arm and it felt like we were together again. The only other piece of jewelry other than her bracelet and Well in her cross, of course, that I just had to have Simply to feel close to her was a sapphire ring that I wore on my wedding as something borrowed and something blue.
Speaker 0:These linking objects are everything to me. They are reminders that she is always with me, they prompt me to think of her, they prompt me to tell a story about her, they prompt me to say her name. So take some time to think about linking objects. So let me know if you do add a little message on Facebook or Instagram it's just feelings fitness or you can shoot me an email, suzanne Suzie, a NNE at feelings fitness comm. I'd love to hear about your linking objects and your loved ones and your grief journey as well. So with that, I will leave you with just one thing, and that's Continue to exercise your emotions in an effort to feel fit mind, body and spirit.